Firstly, mobile phone coverage is near an all time worst. Compounding that, the WordPress app is frozen; I’ll need to reinstall but can’t see myself trying that until I see some Wi-Fi. I’m forced to the browser approach which is unreliable and s l o w. And, there’s no way I can expect to load photos, let alone video. I’ve got a lot of good stuff to share: a most improbable beer run, a coyote wake up call, stupid synchronized Asian carp… but that will all have to wait, hopefully when I get to Memphis.

So for now, I’m giving you text only of today (yay, near real time!) I’m camping around lower Mississippi mile marker 877, only 782 miles to New Orleans. My jubilee is in honor of my first 50 mile day, which I just barely made. Let’s break it down:

Today

I awoke at 5:15 to start my routine. The wind was blowing and I was a little chilly (Lecy still hasn’t brought me that Mr. Rogers style cardigan), so I thought I might put on my raincoat which makes a warm windbreaker. However, I remembered that I left it on the back of the boat, and I left the back of the boat in the water. So, I had to decide, do I want it enough to try to crawl across the boat pre-dawn, or to get my feet wet, just for a few moments of warmth? I’ve gotten soft: I went to the boat.

Now however, I was confused, the back of the boat was right next to shore. Certainly I recall coming in nose first. Then it struck me: the river level rose 9-12” last night – the boat was fully afloat and had turned around. Usually, even though I drag the boat 50% or more onto shore, I tie off to some rocks or trees or something. Last night there was nothing to tie to, but I came prepared with some big anchors that screw into the ground; the kind you might use to hold down an awning or a trampoline in the yard, or maybe the end of a chain for a junkyard dog. Last night, the 13.5’ boat was half on shore and the anchor was 5’ in front of that. Now, the boat was fully turn around and the anchor was 15’ from shore. Linearly, the water reclaimed about 25-30 feet of shore, which was about a 9-12” depth. I will be using that anchor religiously from now on!

I planned to be on the water at first light, but when I don’t have a side dish to share coffee, that’s 2 cups for me. And I wanted to make sure I had plenty to eat and provisions lined up for the big day ahead. It was 7:30 before I shoved off.

Tugboat activity is frequent in these parts below the Ohio River confluence. Last night at least 6 barges passed while I tried to sleep; and this morning there were plenty of tugs as I got underway. For the first time ever, one of them spoke to me! As he passed headed upstream pushing 8 empty grain barges, what I heard him say on his loudspeaker, “You might wanna beach that boat potato slumber pita waves downtown!” Huh? I gave him a thumbs up and kept on as I was. He seemed to rev his engine a bit after my thumbs up, so maybe he was saying he had slowed down to reduce the waves? It’s possible, but that would be a first. Maybe he was saying there’s some blockage up ahead and I should beach for a while? Unless the river’s on fire or there’s a nuculer catastrophe (I prefer the George W pronunciation 😃), I wouldn’t stop for anything. Or maybe he was telling me I should get a bigger boat because the waves are only gonna get bigger? Hah! I can’t imagine trying to portage something bigger than this. Or maybe this was some kinda tugboat CB speak, like truckers used in the 70’s? Well I crashed his wake doing 5.8 sayin’ let this pirate roll! 10-4!

For the most part today, the river was flowing well. Yesterday immediately after the Ohio confluence, things slowed dramatically, but today it seemed as good or better than it was in Cape Girardeau. I tried to stay just inside the main channel where the flow was most consistent, but frequent barge traffic had me regularly veering 50’ to the side. In the first 2 hours I did over 13 miles; better than 6.5 mph is a new record! I more or less kept this pace until lunchtime. 

The tugboat traffic was impressive: I saw tows with 27, 28 and 30 barges. Each barge is 35’ wide and 195’ long; these were like stringing 3 football fields together. I would certainly give plenty of leeway to these behemoths, but this potato slumber pita was not gonna beach his boat.

At noon, the clouds from the morning burned off, the wind ceased, and it became 88 degrees in full sun. After lunch these conditions quickly affected my speed. 6.5 went to 5, then 4 mph. And, I was quickly going through my water supplies. I’ve been mixing Gatorade from a large pack that Joanna and Geoff Falk gave me (thanks guys!) and I started thinking that maybe I could just eat this with a spoon if I run low on water. It reminded me of when I used to go to my friend Matt Roach’s house in junior high school and we would eat Tang straight from the jar. I remember doing that one day and Matt refusing to give any to his younger brother, who then responded by grabbing the biggest knife in the kitchen and chasing us outdoors! 

That then reminded me of a time in the spring of 1978 when we went to the Fun Fair at Littlejohn Elementary school in DeKalb, IL. My youngest sister Ellen won a goldfish at the fair, and she named it Benji (after the movie dog). The next day, my other two sisters and I teased Ellen relentlessly about giving a fish a dog’s name (it’s dumb, right?) Finally, nearly 6-year old Ellen snapped, and she came running out of the kitchen into the living room with the biggest knife in the house! Once outside, knowing she couldn’t catch us in a foot race, she went to the garage and hopped on  the Big Wheel. Our Big Wheel had a few miles on it, and as was typical it had a flat spot on the big tire from excessive braking and skidding. So when you rode it, it gave an audible thump… thump… thump. When going at a fast pace, it was quite a percussive thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump…

Now my older sister Michelle and I were 10 and 11, and we were crossing guards at Litylejohn, so we were allowed to cross the street; Jenny at 8 years old was not allowed this privilege. So, Michelle and I stood on the corner at the end of the block watching as Jenny screamed while running around the block with Ellen thumpthumpthumpthumping behind her, with both hands on the handlebars, but still clutching a large carving knife in her right hand. My mom came home before manslaughter ensued, and we never said a bad word about that fish again.

Interestingly, Matt Roach’s younger brother is a world champion in Taekwondo; and he used to spar with Ellen’s son Joe who was using this as cross training while becoming an All American wrestler at Grand Valley State. Some sort of weird full circle thing there I suppose.

Where was I? Dry Gatorade… instead I made another unplanned water stop at New Madrid, Missouri. I tied my boat up to a spare barge line that was near some parked barges, then I used the rope to help pull me up a steep hill into town. I had to rest at the top of the hill: I couldn’t believe how fatigued I was, but I guess 6+ hours on the stair master, the last few hours in 88 degree heat will have that effect. As I walked into town, I was immediately greeted by a guy on a smoke break at the visitor’s center/museum. He said I could fill my water jugs from the hose right there. I thanked him and left the jugs to fill after a quick trip to the convenience store at the gas station a few blocks down. I really wanted a soda, and thought I would get some more jelly as I’m not sure my current supply will last me to Memphis. I ended up getting a Diet Coke, a dill pickle, a can of Pringle’s, some Hostess Snowballs, a Powerade, and a grape Blow Pop; they didn’t have any jelly.

Once back at the visitor’s center, I filled the jugs with the world’s most chlorinated water, which is great as I suppose like most other nutrients, I’m a little low on chlorine. I went inside to thank the guy, and maybe not surprisingly, he offered me a few beers. He said they get paddlers through periodically and he always offers them a beer. Maybe surprisingly, I thanked him but passed on the offer. I still had at least 15 miles of planned travel, and warm beer after 50 miles of fatigue did not sound great.

Now armed with 4 gallons of water, and after stretching my legs and downing me Coke, I felt rejuvenated getting back to the boat. Unfortunately I arrived as two tugs were passing in the relatively narrow channel, which sent wanes crashing over by boat, soaking my seat and spare hat and shoes. And whenever the big barges pass, they leave a churn of wavy water for the next 30 minutes, so some of my rejuvenation was sapped by the passing beasts.

It was all I could do, but I made it to the 50 mile marker to set up camp at 5:40. I was moving slowly getting unpacked and sinking my stake to tie off. But after a bit of time on land I was restored. For the third night in a row, I pitched my tent right next to a bald eagle on the shore (this time a pair). It’s been a good omen so far, so I’m not too worried about the fresh coyote tracks running right under my tent. I fixed freeze dried spaghetti and ate my Snowballs, then blog and bedtime.

While photos are a bust, I had hoped I can still get a music link in here, but alas that looks like another impossible task. This afternoon, unceremoniously, I left Kentucky and tonight I’m sleeping in Tennessee. While I’m tempted to link Rocky Top here, instead once I get some Wi-Fi and can update this post, I will go with The Apache Relay – Katie Queen of Tennessee