Today’s word: COLOSSUS, for today was a day of enormous size.

Firstly – it was Sarah’s 24th birthday! I was so excited she chose to join our minor insanity to celebrate her birthday, and she was equally glad to have this opportunity on her special day. Last night, we decided Mr. Mark (that’s how Sarah addresses him) would drive Sarah’s car with most of our gear to Fountain city while Sarah and Jacob paddle that 20 mile stretch with me. This was the reason we bought 2-person kayaks – to have some guest room. Then, they would trade for Mr. Mark to join me for 17 miles to the campground. 37 miles in wind and heat… colossus indeed.

As we packed up our gear, love was in the air in the only other occupied room in the boutique hotel. As we tried to quietly grab bags and go, the couple in room #1 seemed inspired in an overly amorous sort of way. Jacob or I made some comment about the early risers in room #1, and Mr. Mark said their morning calisthenics quickly turned to heated argument when he made a final collection from his room. Sarah, present throughout, had no idea what we were talking about.

We started the day with gourmet breakfast from Kwik Trip: coffee, egg sandwiches and donuts. Sarah declared, “When your breakfast sandwich tastes better than your donut, you’re an adult.” Jacob, still only 23, loved his vanilla long John.

Like all of us so far, Sarah and Jacob were terrible in their craft. It takes some getting used to steering, so we all do a lot of serpentine movements in the early miles. Unfortunately for them, they had about a mile to figure it out before we entered Lock #6 again. Once in the lock, we saw Trevor, who was there yesterday afternoon for Mr. Mark and my round trip journey. He was again friendly and he wished Sarah a happy birthday.

Once through the lock, we had some time to paddle together and talk, which was dominated by discussion about the river, mostly driven by Jacob’s questions: “ What was you favorite part of the river so far?” “Did you expect to meet so many people?” “Is there something you wish you had brought?” I was reminded of a poster I’ve thought about buying in the past.

We passed by a family fishing from a pontoon boat; I told them that nearly every time I paddle by someone fishing, they real in something big. Seconds later, the dad was fighting a large fish. We hung around several minutes until he landed what looked to be a 20-22” catfish. “You’re welcome!” I shouted then we paddled away.

The time and miles flew by until we stopped for lunch. After lunch, Sarah and Jacob got to experience a taste of the wind and waves: for about 3 of the final five miles leading to dam #7. By the end of that, Sarah and Jacob were mentally and physically exhausted.

Sometime that morning I received a text from a college friend: Matt Schaeffer; he was in Winona visiting his wife’s brother (just a few minutes away by car, or hours by kayak). He determined to meet us at the Fountain City when we change drivers. He came with his wife Gretchen, who brought along some fresh plums from the Winona farmers’ market. I at two, telling Gretchen that my wife will be happy to know she helped stave off the scurvy one more day.

After our short break and hugs with Matt and Gretchen, Mr. Mark and I were back to the boats for Mark’s 4th day on the river. However, when we started off, Mark’s Pac-Man yellow boat was making Pac-Man-like noises. One of the peddles had developed a wokka-wokka-wokka sounding “squeak”. Mark said he didn’t want to stop to address it; I told him I hope he doesn’t get caught by ghosties while being driven insane. Sometime later, the sound evolved into a European emergency vehicle siren. I felt like we were in a Jason Bourne movie chase scene. Then, things got bad; the sound changed to a cormorant mating call, and we were quickly approaching Cormorant Island! The cormorant is sometimes called the snake-bird, because of its snakelike neck; Mark is very afraid of snakes. As much as I enjoyed the noise driving Mark crazy, I was afraid if Mark marched into the snake-bird lair making this sort of Room #1 racket, he would be scared to death by the amorous attention of the snakelike birds. So, we popped the pedals out, dunked ‘em in water, and crisis was averted.

When we arrived at the Perot State Park boat landing, the sun was gone and the light was fading. We quickly beached the boats in some reeds, and did a quick lock to the dock. The Sarah and Jacob were there and helped us quickly get our belongings to the car. There was a woman on the dock with her dog watching the sunset. After a quick hello and requisite petting of the pooch, she flopped her sunglasses in the water in a sort of comical and nearly intentional manner; it was like she was performing a quick chivalry test: which of you three men will save a distressed damsel’s polarized eyewear??? I have some experience in saving prescription eyewear from dark murky depths, and I debated the depth of the water before I would offer my services. But, Mr. Man of Action Mr. Mark hopped right in, and with one quick deft movement of his Jimmy Dean sausage toes, the glasses were located and back in her hands. Chivalry point well earned for Mr. Mark. (Note: I don’t think Jacob noticed anything but the dog; I’m not sure he knew there was a woman there with the dog, let alone fallen sunglasses.)

When we arrived at the campsite it was dark. It was well after 8pm, and we had hoped to be at Sullivan’s Supper Club for a birthday celebration by now. The tents were not set up, and Mark and I needed showers before we could go. Mark and I had headlamps and tent savvy; Sarah’s tent has never been used and was being figured out by the light of two iPhones. I told them they should turn the car around and use the headlights to light their workspace. Brilliant idea!

After getting my tent up, I grabbed soap, clothes and towel for the shower. To my great surprise, someone had left a nearly full bar of Irish Spring soap in the shower. What a joy to scrub 12 hours of sweat and river with a manly soap! I knew we were in a hurry, but Mark was not yet even in the shower room, so I showered a little longer than usual.

When I returned to the camp, I hung my towel to dry, then noticed that Sarah’s headlights were still on, though they weren’t quite so bright anymore. Gulp. I went to start the car – nothing. Oddly, I also couldn’t turn off the headlights or put the car in neutral. Whose brilliant idea was it to use the headlights to set up camp? This was going to cost us a chance for real birthday dinner! Doh!

Sarah and Jacob went out looking for a Good Samaritan, while I mostly sulked. When Mark returned from the shower, he too set out, unfortunately he was greeted with remarks like, “How odd, you’re the second person tonight looking for a jumpstart.” Before long, I heard cries through the woods: a hero has been found! We were being rewarded for paying it forward in other endeavors. I started to clear branches, remove large rocks, and stomp down saplings from the area where a car would need to pull up next to us.

Nathan was camping with his young son who was up past his bedtime and excited to help distressed damsel Sarah (she’s awesome with kids, cuz she’s never grown up: that breakfast sandwich vs. donut philosophy is malarkey). Nathan pulled into the semi-cleared area, and Mark and I took his extra long jumper cables and a few minutes later, another crisis resolved. But it was getting late – Sullivan’s closes at 10.

I drove us to the restaurant, figuring I am most likely to ignore the speed limit. However, the 5 mile drive was restricted by 10 mph in the park, and 20 mph in town! Even doubling that, it seemed far too long a commute. We arrived to Sullivan’s around 9:15, we wouldn’t have a luxurious time sipping cocktails and pondering the menu, but certainly we could be served.

The host, Randy, didn’t seem too keen for our business. He said they just started their closing routine; we said we could order quickly. He looked out over the completely empty restaurant (except a table of four near the back window) and said they don’t have a table set up for four people; we said that’s okay, we’ll figure it out. He said how about I put you at this table next to the salad bar; I said how about this one in the corner out of everyone’s way, then I grabbed 2 cutlery, napkins and plates from the table by the salad bar, added them two the table in the corner, and Randy seemed impressed by how I could so quickly create a table for 4.

Feeling a little like we just imposed our way in, Brenda our server came along to lift us all up. She seemed happy to see us; we could smile and laugh freely again; we overcame all sorts of trials today and now Brenda was going to ensure the end of the day would be our favorite part. Brenda was awesome, and Sarah and I pondered why Luke would possibly hate Brenda! (If you know, you know; if you don’t know, this may bring you a little chuckle and get you in the know: Stop It Now).

We had Old Fashions (cuz it’s a supper club classic that Mark was desperately seeking). We piled high from the salad bar, including the chocolate pudding as an appetizer. Mark and I had the prime rib with Irish potatoes – it looked like a brontosaurus steak for Fred Flintstone; Sarah and Jacob had the broiled Walleye. Each meal individually could have fed 2-3 of us in normal times, but we just spent a collective 32 hours on a floating stair master. So, we also ordered grasshoppers and brandy Alexanders; nothing like an alcoholic milkshake to wash down 5 pounds of beef and fish. Then, Brenda brought out an angel food cake, and joined us in singing happy birthday to Sarah. We left the restaurant around 10:30 fully sated and completely enamored by our collective memory of the day.

In honor of Sarah’s birthday, and a song I know will be played at her wedding, here’s a little celebratory tune: Earth, Wind & Fire doing September