Today’s word selection: TURNABOUT. I chose this word as a poor substitute for the spirit of today: “well, that escalated quickly!”

It was fun waking up in the Hager City cabin, where we had a shower, and a real coffee maker. I think I also forgot to mention yesterday: the new turbo fins were a smart purchase. We were doing nearly 4mph all day yesterday, so making 20 miles in a day will be cake, which is what we had planned for today. We had roughly 40 miles to go between Hager City and Alma, where we would meet my daughter Sarah and her fiancé Jacob on Friday night; so a couple of moderate days with cribbage and blogging in the evening was on tap.

As we were set to depart, our first glimpse of a commercial marine operation appeared. The tow was 3 barges wide and 2 long, a mere baby barge tow, but we were impressed and glad to see what we were going to be up against for the next 1,700 miles. My Findship app told me this was the Aubrey Bharwell, Jr. traveling downriver at 6.1 knots (we wouldn’t be able to outrun her), so we waited for her to pass and moved into her wake.

We shoved off and got about 2 miles downriver, then we were faced with our first decision: we could take the Wisconsin channel to bypass Red Wing Minnesota and shave off a mile or two, or we could stick to the main Mississippi channel. We knew we would risk low water and a course reversal, but the Wisconsin channel looked like a low risk.

Oops. About 1.5 miles in, we were consistently hitting bottom. We already knew these turbo blades were nearly as valuable as the French precious, so I took the blame on the poor decision and we retreated: 3 extra miles and 45 minutes of calm cool morning wasted. So what… these were the placid and serene days of Captain Lecy. It’s all good.

It was very placid indeed when we got back to the main channel and cruised into Red Wing. I told Lecy that because of my error, we should reach the Harbor Bar in time for a burger at lunchtime. Gary (the owner I think) told us we could camp there, but we were going to arrive far too early to call it a day; but a burger and a beer to break up our day sounded like the way I will travel with Lecy. We pressed forward at an impressive, but certainly sustainable 3.9 mile pace.

We got to Red Wing at 9:30am. It was a beautiful scene, like a real life version of midwestern Sim City. There were barges being loaded from grain silos. There were kids fishing from a bridge. There were people walking and running along a riverside path. There was a cluster of houseboats making up a small contingent of the Red Wing population, having coffee on the backs of their boats. We moved on and passed a row of small yachts with retirement type names: Wright Timing, Dream Come True, Hydro Therapy… there was one called Mystery Box from Hager City that was intriguing. I’ve had lots of mysterious happenings on this journey, and I thought I should hop on the dock to see what mysteries were in store here, but not seeing anyone I moved on.

We came upon an ADM operation where it appeared rail cars were being loaded with high fructose corn syrup, or corn oil, or some other liquified corn derivatives that are destroying our collective American health. The whole scene smelled like Frosted Flakes and I wondered how much of this bucolic scene in Red Wing had been made possible by ADM. We saw tugboats, rail engines, grain silos and barges with ADM logos. I know people thought negatively of my 31 career supporting “big oil”, so I feel a little hypocritical thinking poorly of ADM, but the unnatural modification of our food supply seems to be a more acute impact on everyone’s health. Sorry… back to the river!

As we were leaving Red Wing Minnesota, on the Wisconsin side we saw… the Harbor Bar! There were a few tents on the lawn and there were a lot of picnic tables, umbrellas and a big lawn leading to the river. It looked like a place we could’ve had a cribbage game and gotten into interesting conversations with all sorts of Wisconsinites. But how were we upon this spot already? My spreadsheet showed it should be 10 miles further downstream (though my notes said it was across from Red Wing). Looks like we wouldn’t have a burger and a beer at the Harbor Bar, and we wouldn’t meet Gary. It felt like a slightly deflating missed opportunity. We could’ve easily made it here last night had we known the proximity. Oh well. I looked at the map and found Kelly’s Lakehouse Bar & Grill, 14 miles downstream in Lake City. At our pace, this would be a late lunch, but a suitable compromise.

We traveled on and saw empty barge parking lots. There were steel pipes piled into the riverbed that served as hitching posts for empty barges awaiting service. We got an opportunity to get up close and personal with these tame beasts of the river. We wished we had some chalk to do some cheery graffiti, but we were happy to clown around for some photos and rest in the artificial barge shade.

As we traveled, we came across a tow boat named Deana Ann. Mark want s good photo opportunity (his wife’s name is Deana). Mark moved closer and the pilot came out to shoo him away; he needed to get a good photo to show Deana – I don’t know how that hard that was in the end. I didn’t get too close.

We went on a few more miles; we passed the day beacon at mile 786.2. The day beacons serve to let you know exactly where you are on the river; they’re not consistently spaced like traveling on the interstate where every 1/10th mile is marked, but every few miles you can find one and they still serve the same helpful service. We felt the wind picking up from the south, this was expected so we really didn’t think much of it other than a noticeable slowing of our pace.

Then, the proverbial regular hit the fan: we entered the mouth of the beast called Lake Pepin. I wasn’t expecting this obstacle. We were into the big river now, but surely it would be “river”; alas we were starting about 21 miles of lake crossing with a fairly stiff headwind. I recalled hearing something about Lake Pepin, but didn’t recall it being a significant obstacle – I should have known.

We were making about 1.5 mph; gone were the cruising speeds I’d come to know with Mark. At this pace we would be lucky to make it to Kelly’s by dinner time. The wind kept increasing, and the end was really nowhere in sight. At some point Mark called me a f*%^&ng idiot. He said we have no business to be out on this lake in these conditions, and that this whole travel the Mississippi journey was a stupid idea.

We stopped a few times, I think mainly because we were on a sort of suicide watch at this point. I think we both expected 20 serene miles followed by some uplifting surprise; we were then greeted with reality, and the 80/20 rule I expected: 80% of this trip will be miserable, and today appeared to be proving me right. As we neared Lake City and the Hok-Si-La municipal park for camping, Mark said I had no idea where I was and no idea where I was going. And I believe he dropped another profanity laced description of my intelligence. He said I should write an entire blog about how lost and directionless I am; and tell how my janky planning is haphazard. I refuted most of his points, and we slogged away at the final miles and arrived at the campground.

I phoned ahead to ensure there were sites available – they had plenty of capacity. And, according to the campground host, Kelly’s was only 1/2 mile away. The swimming beach where we intended to land was not obvious from the lake. So, we overshot it by 1/3 of a mile and I circled back to reserve a site. While I took care of our lodgings, Mark sat in his kayak, called Deana, and pondered why he chose to join my knucklehead adventure.

The woman at the office at the park was Randy. UK folks: her name was Randy; and if she would’ve acted Randy, I would’ve told her as I told that steer on day 7: I’m happily married and your harem are not my type (wait… day 7? When will day 7 blog be released?) Randy set us up with a great campsite overlooking the river.

Mark was mentally and physically done. I’d never seen him so angry/crabby in my life. What happened to Mr. Positive? We passed on the available showers and instead put on some dry clothes and after setting up tents, headed to Kelly’s for dinner.

Randy gave me a map of the area; included was indication of a shortcut to Kellys. The directions from Randy (look for a path left of site G-4 then follow the trail to the bridge) didn’t seem right, unless she meant for us to leap between fallen trees as our “bridge” crossing. We abandoned this route and traversed back up the the main road, but not before Mark blamed this route on me. He suggested again that my readers would love a blog post about what a bumbling moron I am; there may have been a comparative reference to Mr. Magoo.

Back on the main path, we followed a couple out walking; they suddenly veered off the main path at site G-5; could this be the elusive Randy shortcut? We walked on and saw a proper bridge, not a pile of fallen logs. We got to the restaurant and ordered big dinners: walleye for Mark and burger for me. We talked a little about the concerns of the day and what this means for tomorrow. Then, we got out the cribbage board and Mark beat me in a close, come from behind victory.

Before we went to the tent, I called Sarah to confirm our meeting in Alma tomorrow. In the background, Mark suggested she shouldn’t come; she should find a better way to spend her birthday. Sarah said she heard the voice of “the ghost of some poor pitiful soul”, which made Mark laugh. Things were going to be okay, just maybe not as serene as the first 24 hours suggested. Sleep was difficult due to some inconsiderate neighbor couple who parked chairs right by my tent to enjoy the view. I don’t care how interesting your story is about bone fishing or geriatric mountain lions, 2:38 AM is well past quiet hours and you should be more considerate of your neighbors. I finally yelled as much to them and they retreated to their own site. Tomorrow must be a better day.

I’ve thought about this song for today a few times, but after facing 20 mph gusts and a steady 10-15 mph, Bob Dylan’s Idiot Wind seems most appropriate for today. I know I called the wind much worse today.